Shadow

I am a shadow of myself,
whose emotions now rarely come out,i have buried them deep,
promises now meaningless,neither i make or keep!


I am a shadow of myself,
To conceal my emotions,
I try to manipulate my behavioral equations...

I am a shadow of myself,
in an inertia of betrayal,
Unhealed wounds and scars my only portrayal...

I am a shadow of myself,
constantly changing in magnitude and direction,
in tune with others perception..

I am a shadow of myself,
shallow from outside, fragile inside,
no more rules and ideals i abide...

I am a shadow of myself,
with an unbearable intensity in my eyes,
with a propensity to classify every emotional development as lies...

I am a shadow of myself,
looking for ways to fill in the void,
looking for ways to be emotionally-employed..

I am a shadow of myself,
hiding behind myself in pain and fear,
erupting inside in top gear....

I am a shadow of myself,
burdened with so many grievances,
a wanderer as per the present circumstances...

I am a shadow of myself,
who needs an illuminating spark in this encompassing dark,
but doesn't know how to embark...

I am a shadow of myself,
With very high vulnerability quotient,
My protective shadow-unconventional and omnipresent!!!!

Untitled

Dimensionless yet again,
again a saga of pain..
feelings now fail translate into words,
helplessness cuts my heart into infinite chords!

Its been quite a while,
when i did originally smile,
All i am now a lost soul,
moving around just on self-console.

faith and patience-the two traits,
very demanding at my present state!


i know you wont return back...
yet its difficult to pop from my heart's stack...
the feelings left behind...
doesn't allow me to unwind...

ability to leave someone and survive,
is misquoted as strength,
rather it is,to be left and yet live,
with those same feelings throughout length and breadth...
yet manage a smile,
in conditions worse than exile,
yet have that trust,
deeper within the crust..
yet have that care,
irrespective of you being unfair..
yet willing to repair,
inspite of your feelings of despair.

relationships are just like mirrors,
where your mutual coordinates interchange on some triggers,
some sub-conscious,some forced,
commitment just cant be enforced...


judged on the basis of my minima,
would never give you my actual schema,
general reflexes skipped from count,
exceptions only taken into account....

i never thought of quitting,
even at times of weeping,
you left me though,
at my times of low.


feelings don't mean to be put on auction
on every unsuccessful ventures,
they are woven with sacrifice and affection,
they are meant to be protected on every crucial junctures...